July 2010
69 posts
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Quips
- Today I wore heels to work for the first time in eons. My friend gave them to me because they were too small for her, and luckily I have the world’s weirdest feet and they slid in perfectly, even though her foot size is quite a bit different than mine. I have a tendency to put my weight on my heels at times, I don’t know how or when this started but sometimes I feel it is comfortable...
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Is it just me, or are the proverbial “they” handing out book deals like those bowls of colorful free condoms?? Everyone is working on their book. Everyone is a writer. I’m pretty sure I defaulted into this trade because I’m not good at anything else but being funny.
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You know that part in Garden State when Zach Braff gets to work and the the gas nozzle is still stuck in his tank? Yeah, my life is completely like that right now. Sadly enough, I’m not witty enough right now to convey it any other way.
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Dear DMX,
My oh my, why so angry? I mean, I’m glad you can get those crazy college boys pumped by rapping about relations with corpses, but you’re just so mad. I’m pretty sure you’ve been through the school of hard knocks - hey, I’m not one to judge. But really, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Hope you don’t lose your mind over this.
Love, Kymm
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one forty plus: “Stop trying so hard to sound... →
“Stop trying so hard to sound deep. Stop using twice the words necessary. Your thoughts have potential, but your writing is muddy and imprecise.
Also, when was the last time you traveled with just a backpack? That detail is jarring like dad’s voice on the answering machine interrupting some…
Dear John Mayer,
Although I did enjoy your post on travels, it is so hard for me to believe YOU...
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“The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its...”
– Iris Murdoch
(via quotewhore) (via kaytee)
(via claudia)
(via byrdie)
“Men are respectable only as they respect.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Text Tales From The Bookmobile
J: So the Chaunceys get books about raising horses and playing chess. What don't they do?
K: Birth control
J: I think we should set up a trap door in here so people will fall under the bus. And they will be trapped there until we drive over them.
J: He seems a rather large baby
K: My sentiments EXACTLY wtf
J: I look over and I was like "Why is that three year old being babied and sucking a pacifier?"
K: Mary Nasass just told me the effing blanket story again. I hate you.
J: This guy with the eyebrow looks funny
J: Half hat
K: Man that girl is RAD
J: Why?
K: Such a NERD!
Nobody is safe from commentary ala' MST3K on this bus.
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I just learned that it IS possible to be scared after watching a Patty Hearst SLA documentary alone in the dark. Who knew?
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Living life with expectations gets you nowhere. The genuine surprise and excitement when great things happen is what life is all about!!
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Who else can say they are standing outside their house right now listening to Bret Michaels cover Poison songs at an outdoor concert a mile away? Suckers!!
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Grandmas would make the worst stand up comediennes.
“My granddaughter says the darndest things, she covers up her mom with a blanket and says ‘There you go momma, now you’re all sorts of cozy.’”
(Pauses for laughter)
“My granddaughter says the darndest things, she covers up her mom with a blanket..”
Just because you think your kid is cute, does not mean that I think your kid is cute. Quite frankly, I think your child has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
At Starbucks, right now
Me: Can I have a piece of lemon raspberry loaf and a grande Americano with soy milk please?
Him: Grande Americano Soy Misto?
Me: Did you just say 'misto'?
Him: Yes.
Me: What the fuck is that?
Him: Uh it's half Americano half steamed soy milk.
Me: No. I want an Americano with soy instead of cream. And for the record, before I get to the window and you look at me all weird, I wasn't swearing at you. The 'fuck' was directed at the word 'misto' okay? I'm not an asshole.
Him: Ok, your total will be at the window.
I feel as though I have found yet another kindred blogger spirit.
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tesslynch:
spiritualized — ladies and gentlemen...
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Ten "Books" That Shaped My Life (in some way):...
- Wait Til Helen Comes, Mary Downing Hahn - Just As Long As We’re Together, Judy Blume - Baby-Sitters Club series, Ann M. Martin - Christopher Pike “teenage horror” books - Penthouse magazine - Archie comics
“A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for...”
– M.K. Rawlings (via deannabrooks)
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Quick Quip
Kiki finds a floppy straw summery hat that looks as though it belongs on Elizabeth Taylor lounging by the pool. (ET circa 1950’s, as opposed to ET now) She puts it on and instantly she is transformed to glam movie star status. I sigh in awe, and compliment her dazzling allure. She laughs at me and disagrees. I say, “No, really. You are definitely movie star glam. You have the hair, the...
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Dear Daddy,
I love you very very much. I will not stop writing. It is what makes me happy.
Your dotter,
Krumber-lulu
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I’d take you where nobody knows you, and nobody gives a damn.
“I’ve never believed in security, and I still don’t. I feel like I do what I do...”
– Marc Bolan
TRUTH VALUES #1
bluefugate:
A sense of humor is the only quality from which you can deduce both intelligence and morality.
All anyone wants is to feel indispensable in as many ways, to as many people as possible.
I love this.
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Our eyelashes brushed like they would weave together by themselves, turning us into one wild thing. I say, “I think I missed you before I met you.”
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I want to make an exchange
I don’t have my receipt, I purchased so long ago
I didn’t realize this could be defective
Beautifully flawed, so unwilling,
Please take it away from me before it hurts me again.
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I hear melodies in my head that I am unable to convey like you.
Now imagine what that life might be like.
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I don’t write pretty
I write points
Basic.
I write hurtful things
Then I let them go.
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To love without abandon,
To thrust yourself heart first
Head second,
Where are my fellow warriors?
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I am the loneliest girl that lived.
Even surrounded by others,
I am singled as one.
My mind and my soul is lone
My faith in human is far too kind.
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Loud bars loud music loud people loud life. Full of life. Full of sound. Full and boisterous and floating through weaving and bobbing and living and singing to their own tune.
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Sometimes the space between us amounts to oceans of empty and mountains of silence. In instinct I believe to shut it off but in hindsight I feel I never know what I am feeling anymore.
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Beautiful is the music we make together
Without instrument
Or harmonies
Just distinct synchrocity
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Everything he writes is a work of art
Mine, merely words on paper.
Nothing else.
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Oh! Here we are again
Entertwining upon the vicious cycle
You walk in the door
We embrace
The days go by
You walk out the door
My heart falls
